What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
