i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
