I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
