I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think your dad took our porno
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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