She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
