she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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