Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
