It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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