I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
