i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
