All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There r osticjed everywhere
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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