You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
