I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
