So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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