I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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