Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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