If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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