so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize