When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
