great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
