You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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