it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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