God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
