she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
