Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
