Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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