There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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