I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
