Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
