My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
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