In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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