why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
