Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
