he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
