its not stalking. its research.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
