my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
