well you can't waste a boner
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
