Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
