come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
