I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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