i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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