Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize