I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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