As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
