Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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