the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
