If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
