i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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