My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
birth control should be required to get into college
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
