the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We had to coat check the pizza.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
