Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
