And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
