no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
