On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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