I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
