It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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