you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
