Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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