Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
