Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
