he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
