bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we should paint friendship bongs
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