have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
