Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Still dying that you shit outside
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
