you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
