If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
