Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize