no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
